let me stop here.

for i am dead. inside

in life

throughout a man's life, he'll be learning all along.

he'll learn that some would look into others different ways, he would also then, look into others a little different than previously. views changes, a character is defined and being fine tuned all life long. when a man become of age. he would not just look. he would then try to impose on others, his views and his character.

he would however stay to his principle. principle that was brought on to him from his upbringing. imposting this on others is hard if not almost impossible. it might stick to others, mixed into theirs. the only way for him to make his principle stays in life, is to make it appealing. to others, and easiest way is through his heirs.

he would then end his life, with hope that his principle remains.

he is a man. he is me. 2010, finding my character.

clean slate - wishfull

wish i can start the new year clean slate,

but, we do drag along things we dont want from past years... owh well...

happy 2010, its my year

half of what is left

"i only have half of it when we met... i lost the other half just a while before we met... now u take it all. guess its not mine to keep in the first place" - a boy who lost it all

2010

its the year. few things on the list. better keep them to myself, so that i wont remember it. i dont have much to achieve either. i'll use the year just to heal my soul. and maybe, maybe... do some workout. its a year of beauty, yeah... lets call it just that... 2010, year of beauty

you have something of mine

some are yours to keep, others...

floodgate is opening

stop it before it pours.. help

influence

they said it is hard to influence people. it is impossible for me, then again...

'difficult takes a day impossible takes a week' - jay-z

how long is long

.. to a person waiting for a train late for work, 10 minutes is long,

.. to a person so hungry queuing at a fast food restaurant counter, 10 men is long,

.. to a person stuck in a 3 kilometers jam, it's long,

.. to a person long jumping in an Olympic game, 9 meters is too long,

.. to a person reading a 2 page mumbling, it is too long

.. to a programmer, 2 mins compiling is long,

.. to a Chinese, black person's is long,

.. any person longing, anything is long,

.. it is very long.. answer me.. even if it is a no.

no body knows

i heard this from someone very close to me. she said 'you wouldnt know the feeling of being lonely'.. i said to myself 'i do'. and the world went silent for a while, it understands me.